Its been way too long.

Test after test, obstacles after obstacles. A million and one things has been happening all at once. From financial, to family, to friends. You name it, chances are it happened to me. To go thru all of this with my head held high is way tougher then i thought. And to make it thru without any emotional injuries, sometimes is to much to ask for.

A new year coming up real soon. As i sit here on the bed with a cigg in hand, i realized that it has been a terrible year. Every year has been terrible. But i learnt to stand up on my own two feet and look ahead no matter how bad i stumbled. Whats life without the challenges? Maybe i am exaggerating, every year wasn't really that terrible. There were good times too, which i try to remember as much as i can. Let's just say the things that has happened has definitely showed me a new outlook in life.

I dont really look forward to new year anymore. But this time, i am. Bcos it means.... i am getting married real soon! Yes, married. In about 14 more months, i'll be married. How grown up does tht sound suddenly? Its like entering a new life, with someone else in tow. And with someone who i dearly and truly love? Wow. No matter how many times i say it, it still is hard to believe that i will be getting married.

Jumping to a whole other topic, I have learnt to accept things the way they are now. But as i grow older, im not saying im really old now eventhough I kinda feel tht im 30 sometimes with the responsibilities that come with growing up.. i tend to let things slide more often thn i actually want to. I just let it go. Ya, i get angry, a little frustrated, maybe throw a little tantrum here and there, then.. pooof. Nothing. Maybe its a sign that i really should stop letting all this people disappoint me over and over again. I should stop letting all this people step all over me. I keep giving it my all but to be disappointed and be treated like a piece of paper especially from the people who i genuinely care about? Nah, i'll pass. So lesson learnt? Stop bg nice, not entirely but a little, i guess. Time to be mean. Okay no. Time to.. how do i put it? A little less lenient.

I am not entirely prepared to start the new year eventhough it feels like any other year. But with a fiancee who means the world to me aside from my family by my side always, i feel i am prepared to face anything. That feeling never fails to amaze me. How one person who started out as a friend turn out to be someone who means so much. Love works in amazing ways, and im definitely enjoying the perks of bg in a relationship.

No more new year resolution. It doesnt actually work out for me as i keep procrastinating on doing pretty much everything. Lets just say i now have a mission in life. It sounds so weird just saying that. A mission to be a better person. A better daughter, a better sister, a better friend, and definitely a good wife. Not a better wife, i havent even reached that stage yet. Im still in training mode for that, hey.. i am learning okay.

On a brighter note, there is so many things to look forward to with the new year just around the corner. One day to be exact. I shall keep a positive mindset and take one day as it is.

Till then.. Happy New Year and may the new year bring in more luck and happiness for everyone. And i need all the luck i can get.

With love,
Shasha.